Community Update (4/30/26)

Wellness

The Now Generation: Aging Changes as we Age!                                                     

By Joan Smith

An enlightening but amusing story appeared in the Health section of the Washington Post (March 30, 2026). Steven Petrow wrote a book based on a long list he composed at age 50, titled “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old”. He had generated the list based on watching his aging parents, criticizing decisions he witnessed and labeled stupid. With much chagrin, as he turned 70, he realized that he was doing many of these “stupid” things himself!

At 50, he swore he would “never color my hair,” “I won’t deny the fact that I need hearing aids,” “I won’t limit myself to friends my own age,” and “I won’t worry about what I can’t control.” I am sure some of these sound familiar. He felt frustrated watching his parents pay the price of stubbornness, and his list tallied more than 100 items. He planned to hold himself accountable by going public with his promises.

He shared his writings with many of his parents’ generation, having many conversations about how his aging experience would be different. Then the book was published when he was 64, and publicity interviewers began to challenge him about what he WAS actually doing/saying now. He was taken aback and realized that though he was now in the zone, he had duplicated some of the very behaviors (such as not wanting to give his age) that he had mocked. And while he resisted a full “organ recital” in conversation with friends, he noted that when he referred to this from his book, friends would immediately “sing a chorus of sciatica, angina, a new hip or knee, then caught themselves short for joining Steven’s organ recital.” It was difficult indeed to not “share” their latest health challenge!  Then, once Steven developed a cardiac problem, he “of course talked about it; I was worried and felt the need to share.” Oops.

One common behavior he cited is ignoring the chances we take (such as climbing on ladders, standing on chairs to reach things) that were no problem when we were younger. Steven caught himself doing that, then recalled both his father and grandfather had died from falls. And he recalled a friend once telling him that “no matter how much we tell ourselves that we won’t become like our parents, we become them.”

So realizing we are not exempt from the laws of nature, and exposing our denial (“I am not that old”), can help us age more gracefully. Steven shared with readers a few pointers he had discovered about “aging smarter”:

• Hold yourself accountable. Find an accountability partner who will call you on it when you neglect to stick to your plan, and nudge you back on track.
• Don’t become hostage to denial. See the above examples of standing on ladders. Listen to your friends when they tell you that you need hearing aids. Recall that half of those over 60 need them, and almost all over 90 do. Cognitive health improves with better hearing, plus socializing is much more enjoyable!
• Think about how you want to do things differently as you age. Deliberately seeking out fitness routines, healthy eating choices, and mental challenges. Keeping a positive attitude necessitates deliberate action, but has big payoffs.
• Keep current with new technology. This can be a difficult one. But today, every thing we use has tech components, and we need to learn them. Hearing aids controlled by your smartphone, remote controls for many appliances in the house, and useful assistants (Alexa, Siri) for reminders and information, can make our lives easier. Learning and using these skills have positive cognitive advantages. So don’t be embarrassed to ask for help with these tools. Teachers are everywhere (ANV, Apple store, friend, grandchild).
• Be grateful, avoid hubris and keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself.

In summary, be less harsh with yourself and your choices, make a plan for how you want to age, and ask a friend along for the ride. And take 50 year olds’ advice with a grain of salt!

Occasional Diary from an Independent Living Community

We recently acquired a garden plot; you would think it was 40 acres when we talk about what we might plant there! The plot measures about 10 feet square, one of about 150 surrounded by pleasant sidewalks and benches. There are two garden sheds, with every tool imaginable, including weeding stools—my fav! Hoses dot the walkway, and garden waste is collected in big bins (that someone else empties!) So far, the most fun has been chatting with garden neighbors; some plant flowers and veggies, some just adorn with garden statues and flowers. And I resonate with the points made in the Washington Post (April 20, 2026) article about gardening helping your brain as you age! It was reported that gardening: promotes cognitive health, gets you moving, challenges your brain, reduces stress, and is fun! I will keep you updated on how my garden grows!